I haven't posted since the year began and it makes me sad that I've let my writing go by the wayside. Work has been hectic, driving me crazy at every opportunity, but I like working here.
I've lost touch with some people that I really need to get back to. My support system is slowly dwindling down and right now I could use the extra help. Some days I feel like I've gone off the deep end, i feel hopeless and just ready to end it. I go crazy and back in one swift motion, I feel like I have whiplash. There's no reason or "trigger", it just happens. I can't explain the feeling, nor do I care to. All I want is to go a day without thinking so damn much. I want to smile so much my cheeks burn.
It's raining today, I love the rain. I wish I were outside letting it fall down my face, cleansing me, washing away my doubts and fears even if it is just for the moment. It's my moment.